Please get out of the game

Let me tell you a story, 

It takes place in an arena. A fancy one with bleacher seats and a Chick-Fil-A in the lobby. 

There are basketball players everywhere. Young ones. None older than 14. 

And there’s a coach. Who, turns out, is the dad of a player. Status of volunteer or paid is unknown. 

This particular game is a close one. 

As a mere spectator, it’s a fun game to watch. Caitlyn Clark impersonators with three point attempts galore. Sprinting down and back. Playing tough defense. Sweaty ponytails. Tucked jersey straps. High fives. Heavy breathing. Girls playing hard. Like I said, it was fun to watch. 

Until the coach got in the way. 

Timeout. Coach rant, “Do you think that’s what I wanted?” “Do you think this is what I gave my weekend up to watch?” “Get your head in the game and do what I said.” 

Timeout over. First play. Turnover. Coach looks at her, disgusted. Girl gets benched. 

Game over. A scoreboard win, sure, but a team… lost. Their faces told the story; dejected, unhappy, shame.

I didn’t tell you it was a happy story. 

There was no messaging in the huddle about playing basketball. 

There was no instruction in that huddle on how to play basketball. 

There was no belief in that huddle that these girls could play basketball. 

There was only ego. 

Did you know that by the age of 14 girls drop out of sport 6 times the rate of boys? 6 times! 

It’s because of coaches like these. 

Coaches who make it all about them. 

Coaches who intimidate and demean players. 

Coaches who offer no instruction. Who leave our girls with the conclusion that they can’t do it, they’ll never do it, they are just plain bad. 

Volunteer or not. Ego has no place in the huddle. The only “I” should sound like this;

I know you can do it!

I have seen you do this before!

I am proud of you. 

Coaches, you have a responsibility to teach them. To equip them. To prepare them. And good golly, please let them know you believe in them. 

If you can’t do this, please get out of the game!

Sincerely, a deeply concerned narrator and every girl who’s ever played the game. 

#playyou

Coach D